Many of you know that I like to start these Friday Reflections by asking a question. So, here’s today’s question. What do you leave behind after you leave? You know, what is the residual that you or I leave on people after we are no longer in their presence? Give that a thought for just a moment or two. I’m guessing you haven’t thought much about the potential “residual” that you leave behind.
What raised this question in my mind is an experience I had the other day. Understand that Nancy and I have two cats and a dog that share our home with us and it seems to be that time of year in which our pets are shedding just a bit. (Yay, maybe spring is in the air!) Anyway, both of our cats have their moments of being lap cats, when they want a little attention. The other day our long-haired calico cat, who was calmly sitting in my lap, decided she’d had enough attention and jumped down. However, she left me with a gift…the gift of cat hair in my lap. Or another time, when I was getting ready for the day, I noticed one of our cats was rubbing against my leg. Later when I looked down at my pants leg, there was cat hair clinging to my pants. There have even been times, that hours later, I’ll look down and see cat hair on my pants, even though I’m at work and haven’t had a cat close by for hours. As they say, pet hair is the gift that keeps on giving!!
Of course, seeing this cat residual in my lap made me think of our two loving cats, which generally speaking, is a positive thing. But it did get me thinking about what the residual is that I leave behind when I am no longer present with a person? Is my lingering presence or after-effects with other people positive or negative? I’m guessing we’ve all known people that when someone walks into a room, there’s an unheard groan, because the person tends to be so negative, or self-centered, or mean spirited, or contrary, etc. that no one wants to hang around them. I’ve also had the experience of being around people who are positive, delightful, encouragers, other-focused, etc. They are a joy to be around and tend to have lots of people hanging around them.
There are several passages from the Bible that I believe speak to this very topic. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” We seem to live in a day in which there are a lot more “harsh words” than there are “soft answers.” And at least for myself, I am drawn more to a person with a soft answer, even if it’s an answer I don’t necessarily agree with.
There are also a number of passages in the Bible that remind us of the positive effect our presence can have. Think about the fact that people were drawn to Jesus. He almost always had a crowd around him. Why? Because there was love and hope, generally speaking, in what he had to say. He treated people as if they mattered, because in Jesus books, they did matter…a lot!!
Colossians 3:12 tells us, as Jesus followers, to clothe ourselves, or put on, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and even love. This is a passage often read at weddings. As helpful as it is for the bride and groom to hear, these words were not originally intended for weddings…but for everyday-ordinary people like you and me. The reason for putting on these qualities isn’t for our own benefit, it’s for the benefit of those we interact with throughout the day. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul encourages people to “build one another up.” He’s speaking of being an encouraging presence in people’s lives and not one that tears down, because that is what the church or Body of Christ is supposed to be about!
So, once again, the question I’m asking myself is this, what is the residual, or the after-effect, that I leave on people? How would you answer that question for yourself? It’s a good question to consider because who we are and how we treat others leaves an impression that lasts long after we are no longer in a person’s presence.
My hope, as a human being and as a Jesus Follower, is that I leave behind an impression of encouragement, of hope, of joy, of acceptance, and of love. Qualities that I hope will build others up and not tear down. In my opinion, there’s too much tearing down going on in our world. Our calling as Jesus’ people is that of living out Jesus’ command of loving one another and Paul’s word to build one another up. Good words to live by and an even better impression to leave with people, even when we’re not in their presence.
Pastor Keith